Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Want Lots of Junk Mail? Join AARP

Today's Post is about 50+.

My retirement program from my former career gives me great benefits.  But shortly after retiring, I thought it might be nice to kick off my new life with the discounts from being a member of AARP.

What can I say?  I was a retired newbie and on that day I made a huge mistake.

I joined AARP.

A year later after receiving pounds of junk mail, most of it sensitive enough that it had to be shredded, I realized I had no interest in the "deals" being offerred. 

But I had lots of interest in terminating all the junk mail I was receiving from AARP.  The AARP program just wasn't for me or my shredder.

I did not renew my membership.

Mail kept coming.  Big thick vehicle, health, and life insurance offers.  Multiple warnings that I needed to HURRY and renew my membership.

I responded to the AARP membership warnings, kindly declining my membership and asking them to remove me from their mailing lists.

Mail kept coming.

I responded again to AARP, declining all the membership offers and pleading with them to remove me from their mailing lists. 

Mail kept coming.

I responded to all the junk mail offers, begging them to remove me from their mailing lists.

Mail kept coming.

I got creative with my responses back, using lots of different colored pens, highlighting the requests to remove me from the mailing lists.  I made beautiful responses.

Mail kept coming.

I started getting testy in my responses back. 

Mail kept coming.

Six months ago I called AARP.  The woman at AARP was very understanding.  She told me she was familiar with my complaint.  She told me she had removed me from all addresses associated with AARP.  She warned me that it might take some time before the mail quit coming but assured me that in about 3 or 4 months that it should quit.

Six months later...the mail keeps coming.  Yesterday another renewal warning for my membership and another big thick Life Insurance offer.

Today I once again called AARP.  The gentleman I spoke with was also very understanding and familiar with my complaint.  He quickly found me in the AARP computer.  (Go figure, I haven't been a member for 2 years but I'm still listed in the AARP computer.)

He said he wished he could delete me but the AARP computer program won't let him.  I asked him why and with a sigh he told me he didn't know why, telling me that based on the complaints he gets that he sure wishes he had that function. 

BUT he told me in a secret voice, he had "backdoor" ways to resolve the issue.

He warned me that there was still a lot of "pre-printed stuff" out there and to not expect the junk mail to instantly stop.

How did he resolve my issue?

He put errors in my address so that all the AARP junk mail should now be undeliverable.

And he made a note in the comments field that I'm deceased!

Sigh....time will tell.


  1. So... dead and moved to an undisclosed location.

    Sounds great (in a rather horrifying way).

    Hope it works!


  2. I feel your pain! I just write return to sender on the and mail them write back... Good Luck. Hows Bob doing?

  3. I hate to laugh at your frustration, but I have to tell you that was quite funny!
    I am 49 right now.....will keep in mind that I do not want to join AARP!
    Thanks for the heads up!

  4. We use to get tons of junk mail too. I would refold it and stick in the self addressed envelope they include, and mail it back at their expense! The mail soon quit coming!

    Thumbs up to the young man you spoke to at AARP!

    Now to figure out what to do with all those un wanted phone calls! (YES I AM ON THE DO-NOT-CALL-LIST!) Still the phone rings off the wall!

  5. Aaaarrrgggghhhh! I feel your pain! I called and chewed them out cause I started getting renewal notices a full 9 months before it was due to be renewed. At first, I was just confused because I thought for sure I had renewed, so why were they still sending me crap? So I, too, called. Fat lot of good it did, guy said he would note my account that I only wanted to be notified the month before. ~~sigh~~ Nope. Still got loads of renewals, insurance offers, etc. It's a pain!