Not Enough Time

As I start this Post the truck is coming down our road and up our drive.  It was just here a few months ago.  I didn't expect I'd see it again for a long, long time. 

I never want to see it again.

My husband has gone out to greet the driver and do the duty.  I'm a chicken when it comes to this.  I can't be out there.  I hide, here in the safety of the house.  Hank The Dog knows something is wrong.  He is leaning against my leg and whining.  I can hear Bob and Gus whinnying outside.  I can't stand the sound.  I cover my ears.

I want to go back in time to four hours ago when we were talking about putting up Christmas lights and finishing decorating the tree. 

Four hours ago when I took Hank out for our morning walk. 

Four hours ago when there was a terrible banging in the barn which could even be heard inside the house. 

Four hours ago my husband and I both ran to the barn to find Poco coming out of the large double stall which he has shared peacefully with Gus for two winters.  He was on three legs.  His back left leg swung crazily at an odd angle. 

How could this have happened???????!!!!!!!!  Gus and Poco have always gotten along.  There was plenty of hay in the double stall they share but for some reason Gus had kicked Poco, shattering his upper leg.  Gus then proceeded to buck/kick Poco outside the stall as my husband and I came upon the scene.  You never saw two people move a 2,500 lb. horse out of there as quickly as we did.

While we waited for the vet, I fed Poco apples and grain.  It wasn't enough time to tell Poco how much I loved him.  How he is Noble, one of the Great Ones.  We are supposed to have months and months to spend with our loved horses before we put them down.  Not merely minutes.

Yet it was too much time as Poco suffered in pain.  My husband bringing out his gun, telling me that if it takes much longer he is going to have to do the deed.  Both of us in agony, both of us in pain, trying not to panic.

The vet arrived.  The deed was done....

The truck is now leaving...I will NOT look out the window as it leaves.  Yet I do look out the window, whispering Goodbye to Poco...I love you...rest in peace.