Sunday, December 4, 2011

Not Enough Time

As I start this Post the truck is coming down our road and up our drive.  It was just here a few months ago.  I didn't expect I'd see it again for a long, long time. 

I never want to see it again.
My husband has gone out to greet the driver and do the duty.  I'm a chicken when it comes to this.  I can't be out there.  I hide, here in the safety of the house.  Hank The Dog knows something is wrong.  He is leaning against my leg and whining.  I can hear Bob and Gus whinnying outside.  I can't stand the sound.  I cover my ears.

I want to go back in time to four hours ago when we were talking about putting up Christmas lights and finishing decorating the tree. 

Four hours ago when I took Hank out for our morning walk. 

Four hours ago when there was a terrible banging in the barn which could even be heard inside the house. 

Four hours ago my husband and I both ran to the barn to find Poco coming out of the large double stall which he has shared peacefully with Gus for two winters.  He was on three legs.  His back left leg swung crazily at an odd angle. 

How could this have happened???????!!!!!!!!  Gus and Poco have always gotten along.  There was plenty of hay in the double stall they share but for some reason Gus had kicked Poco, shattering his upper leg.  Gus then proceeded to buck/kick Poco outside the stall as my husband and I came upon the scene.  You never saw two people move a 2,500 lb. horse out of there as quickly as we did.

While we waited for the vet, I fed Poco apples and grain.  It wasn't enough time to tell Poco how much I loved him.  How he is Noble, one of the Great Ones.  We are supposed to have months and months to spend with our loved horses before we put them down.  Not merely minutes.

Yet it was too much time as Poco suffered in pain.  My husband bringing out his gun, telling me that if it takes much longer he is going to have to do the deed.  Both of us in agony, both of us in pain, trying not to panic.

The vet arrived.  The deed was done....


The truck is now leaving...I will NOT look out the window as it leaves.  Yet I do look out the window, whispering Goodbye to Poco...I love you...rest in peace.






25 comments:

  1. I am so sorry - there are no words I can say that will be of comfort. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh I am soo sorry, I cryed when I read this. Our hearts, thoughts and prayers are with all of you !

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, I am so very sorry for your loss. Tears are streaming down my face as I write. I, too, know how how your world can change within minutes. I'm sure Poco knows how much you love him. You were a good Mom. May God Bless you all. Hugs from Christiana in New Jersey.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh... I am so sorry. There just aren't words to make it better. Know that we all are with you in spirit right now, hugging you. So very very sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So simple and heartbreaking. You are a great writer. It was also brilliant how you used photos of past, happy times with the prose in the present.

    I'm so sorry you lost your dear friend Poco.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My love to you and your good horse. I've been there. Love is what counts. But it is so hard. All my words sound trite.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This sucks. So sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  9. As someone who had to watch a very special beautiful horse, my Rojo, suffer from a similar injury, except to the front left leg, it always surprises me just how fragile these big, strong animals, that we trust to carry us around, truly are.

    I'm so very sorry for the loss of your handsome Poco. Such a terrible tragedy.

    ((((hugs))))
    ~Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm so sorry! Sitting here stunned to hear about what happened, so so sad.

    ReplyDelete
  11. OMG!!!! Im so sorry. How aweful....RIP Poco, you were a beautiful boy. Too much pain this year. I hope to hell next year is better for all of us..

    ReplyDelete
  12. Such a heartbreak! I am so sorry for your loss. I hope in time the memories will help.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sorry for you loss of such a special and noble partner.

    ReplyDelete
  14. My heart aches for your loss! I KNOW! I just lost my Poncho a few days earlier! Maybe POCO found Poncho at Rainbow Bridge, and they are talking about the good homes and people they left behind, and then swish their tales and race across the sky's jumping from cloud to cloud! Yes, they were Noble boys!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Just found your blog, I'm so, so sorry about the loss of Poco. :(

    Losing our equine friends is difficult at any time, but I think it is worse when it is sudden & unexpected..

    You are in my thoughts.

    Jamie

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm so sorry. This is absolutely heartbreaking and terrifying because I have Faran (a large draft horse) out with Chrome. I never would have thought Gus would/could kick Poco so hard he could shatter his leg. I'm so sorry you're going through this again. You are all in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Simply Heartbreaking. So very sorry for the loss of your sweet Poco. He knew.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I wish I could have the power to move the clock back for you. How sad. How hard.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Such a terrible tragedy! Cherish the wonderful times you had with Poco and don't blame Gus. He really didn't mean it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. So sorry , no words will heal your hurt , an accident like that is one we all dread. Bless you for taking such good and timely care of him

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh, I am so, so sorry...what a tragic thing for you and your husband to endure. May you find some comfort for your horrendous loss. Rest in peace beautiful Poco.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I'm new to your blog, and I feel there isn't anything I can say to make you feel better. I can however say that you do have my heartfelt sympathy. Those are beautiful pictures of what sounds like a great horse.

    ReplyDelete