You Will Know When It's Time to Say Goodbye

Like watching the sun set on a great day, we've probably all wanted to stop the clock and just be in the moment. 

That's how the last few months have been for us because as I wrote in my Post "Preparing to Say Goodbye" (4/29/11), the time has been coming to say goodbye to Sunny Bear (Bear), our sweet and cherished, third-time-was-the-charm, Rescue Belgian Draft Horse.

It could be tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe the week after.  We had no idea that it would be 5 months later. 

My husband and I have turned to each other and said the time was coming.  But the next day Bear would be doing better.  We'd say, "Soon, but not today."  Because "the day" was imminent, I didn't Post a picture of Bear on the front page of my Blog.  It was just too sad for me to put up a picture of a beloved horse whose life was on such a short string.

It is said, "You will know when it's time to say goodbye".

In the past few weeks Bear has become a bag of bones, regardless of how much or what we feed him, his hips and ribs are visible.  I watch him walk, he is feeble.  He stands out in the middle of the pasture unaware of his surroundings.

When I came out to feed this morning Bear was down.  I could see by the pile of dirt where his back legs rested that he'd been struggling to get up without any luck.  He periodically raised his head.  When I approached him he didn't seem upset about the situation.  He took carrots from me - I left a path of them hoping they'd encourage him to find the strength to get up and eat them.

And even though my carrot plan eventually worked, I went inside and made the necessary calls followed by a call to my husband to tell him what I'd done.  It's true, you will know when it is time to say goodbye...

The Perfect Camp Site

Three years.  It seems so long ago when I first saw The Perfect Camp Site.

My husband had suggested we take a vacation to an area where he had hunted for years.  A few days before we left I had met with a retired co-worker who had offered me a part time job as a consultant for his company.  It was a once in a life-time opportunity that would allow me to retire in my mid-50's. 

There were others waiting in line if I didn't take the offer.  I took it knowing the opportunity wouldn't come around again.  We had left on our trip knowing that after almost 35 years I'd be announcing my retirement when we returned.  I still recall the joy and disbelief of that decision and how the world suddenly looked different as we headed down the road.

I recall the 8 hour drive and babbling about my decision and also about Champ, our daughter's horse that I'd inherited when she'd headed off to college.  I had never ridden a horse like Champ.  I didn't know how to work his buttons and was in the midst of taking lessons to learn how to ride correctly.  I was planning on riding in my first horse show and would be missing Champ and my lessons while we were away. 

On our first trip we had stayed in a little cottage on a lake.  The lake was beautiful but the cottage was run down and literally falling apart around us.  After a long drive and sleepless night, my husband had taken me into the mountains so that he could show me his favorite areas.

We'd come across this beautiful camp site.  I recall asking my husband to please stop and pull over so we could check it out.  I stood there in awe of the surroundings, intensified by my change in life decision.  We had pulled out our camp chairs and spent hours sitting in the silence of the woods.

When the time came to leave we didn't want to return to the run down cottage on the lake but we had no choice.  We made a pact to return the following year with our camper so we could stay in the woods.  For the next twelve months we talked frequently about The Perfect Camp Site.

Year 2.  With Hank the Dog we had loaded the camper on the truck and headed back to The Perfect Camp Site.

This drive had been somber.  I was retired and enjoying my new life but Champ had died six weeks earlier.  I was still reeling from the sudden loss. 

I had purchased Poco two weeks before losing Champ.  I'd bought him as a horse for my family and novice friends to ride along with Champ and I.  Now Poco was my only horse.  I had no idea where Poco and I were going.  I felt numb and lost.

We arrived to find The Perfect Camp Site empty and waiting for us.  Stepping out of the truck I felt my sadness falling off of me like old skin.

During our stay we never saw another person.  My husband told me were "cold camping".  No power with the exception of our quiet little Honda generator, no water with the exception of what was in the camper, no cell phone service, no fire due to fire danger.  We loved it.

We did find ourselves camp bound and if it hadn't been for the Red Ryder BB gun that my husband had grabbed as we'd left I think we would have gone stir crazy.  We spent a lot of time hiking, taking turns shooting the BB gun and throwing the ball for Hank the Dog.  When it was time to leave we agreed to come back again the following year.

Year 3.  This year we brought our 4-wheeler.

As we drove to our now familiar destination, I commented on the changes in the past year.  Still working part time and happily retired, but this year we once again had two saddle horses to ride thanks to the purchase of Bob at the end of May. 

Where Champ had been a challenge and Poco was steady, Bob was fun.  He pushed me a little and allowed me to grow.  As the miles passed by I was already looking forward to getting home and riding Bob.

During the past year we had often commented on how The Red Ryder BB gun had been a hit.  This year we had collected the tops of dog food cans so that we could make targets and have a little shooting competition.  With fishing line, magic markers and a hammer and a nail, we were set to create our targets when we unpacked.

As we neared The Perfect Camp Site we once again assured each other that we would be ok if somebody else was already occupying it.  We reminded ourselves that there were lots of other nice spots where we could stay.  But both of us knew that none of the other spots came close to The Perfect Camp Site.

We arrived to find The Perfect Camp Site once again waiting for us with open, although very dry arms.  We jumped out of the truck and turned to grin at each other.  We were back!

It was amazing how quickly we got unpacked and set up.

We set up a tripod for our targets. When the breeze picked up they sounded like a wind chime.

Hank the Dog, a typical Lab.  If there's water around he's in it.  We loved listening to the sound of the water in the little creek.  We could hear it gurgling inside the camper and periodically a fish would splash.  What a nice way to fall to sleep.

The Perfect Camp Site

Before we knew it the time had come to pack up and head for home. 

Goodbye Perfect Camp Site.  See you next year!

Ladies Night #7: Final Night

Ladies Night #7:  The Ladies had all received an email earlier in the week from Rachel informing us that she'd split us in two groups and what time we should plan to arrive for our final Ladies Night.

I had been placed in the first group who were scheduled to ride in the mid-afternoon.  We were returning to Fiddleback Ranch which had been set up on this night so we could all try our luck at sorting cows.

On this cool day, the first after many hot ones, I hadn't planned well.  I arrived with just enough time to saddle Bob up and do some minimal ground work before we started.  I hadn't ridden Bob for over a week and he was pretty fresh. I'd also purchased splint boots for Bob the day before but hadn't had a chance to try them out on him. 

Bless this horse for his patience!  He stood quietly while my Cowgirl Pal, Kyle helped me put the boots on.  But when I went to lead Bob down to the arena it was obvious that he'd never had something like this on his legs before.  His first dozen steps were comical as he raised his feet high in the air and tried to adjust to their feel.  I was so grateful that he quickly adjusted to wearing them.  But that seems to be Bob.  He checks out what's new and once he's assured it's OK, he moves on.

Once on Bob, we lined up to wait for directions.

Rachel, our trainer and friend (Frainer) giving us a head's up on tonight's sorting, telling us to take our time and not hesitate to stop and make adjustments if our horses need it.  Two sets of cows are behind her waiting in pens outside.

In the above picture I can see that Bob has already spotted the cows in the pens behind Rachel.  I know this look!  It's the same one Bob has when he stands in our pasture and looks intently across the fields at the cows in the distance.

Now the other horses have spotted the cows...

Here they are!

We watch and learn from those who are in the pen with the cows...

Bob and I guarding "The Hole".  It's our job to make sure that the right numbered cow is the only one who gets through "the hole".  We must turn back the others who want to follow and also keep those already through from going back into the pen.

In this picture there are cows immediately in front of Bob.  They are trying to break through "the hole" and join their friends on the other side.  I have to laugh at how intense we are!  But our partner inside the pen is doing her best to move the right cow and we don't want to let her down by allowing the wrong ones to get through.

Moving our cow through the hole.

The time seemed to fly by.  Suddenly it was time for us to call it quits so the cows could take a break and we could get loaded up and on our way before the next group of Ladies arrived. 

There was a feeling of sadness as we all loaded up and followed each other down the road, waving out our windows to the second group who were now arriving.  As we broke off on our various directions towards our homes hands waved outside open windows and truck horns honked farewell.

Ladies Night 2011 - A definite success!

Ladies Night #6: Wet Cows and No Riding

We returned to Fiddleback Ranch for Ladies Night #6 on a humid and rainy evening.  Tonight was an evening I'd been looking forward to for many weeks. We'd be working on moving cows, first on foot and then on horseback.  We were a full house tonight with our Ladies Night riders as well as two additional guests.

Gathered in the humid covered arena while the rain dripped outside were a dozen riders on foot.  My Cowgirl Pal, Lisa and I had hauled our horses in my rig.  We were directed to leave our horses in my trailer until it was time to ride.

Looking around I noted two other Cowgirl Pals who have attended sorting events with me.  That made four of us (and our horses) who have previously been exposed to cows.  As for the remaining eight, it would be interesting to see how they and their horses reacted to this new experience.

Cows had been delivered to Fiddleback Ranch, compliments of Rachel's "significant other", Ken.  Owning and operating a stock hauling business with a rodeo bull breeding business on the side, Ken had generously donated the cows for tonight.  Who better to talk to us about moving cows but someone like Ken?

Initially Ken explained the various types of cows (bulls, steers, etc.) and then some of their personality traits including a cow's bubble.  A cow's bubble is the space between you and a cow where your presence prompts him to move forward, sideways or to retreat.  Your presence around the bubble can also halt the cow.  Ultimately it is how you push a cow's bubble that makes the cow react.  In addition, contrary to what some may say - cows are not stupid and can easily outsmart those who try to individually direct (move) them.

Ken demonstrated the bubble and showed us how he could determine which way a cow would move, stop, etc.  We broke into two groups to try it on our own.  I joined Rachel and my team up at the outdoor arena while the other team remained with Ken. 

Moving them on foot was easier said than done!  I'd never had an opportunity to work them on foot; I've always been up on Bob.  I found I had to slow down my motions, if I moved quickly and invaded their bubble I'd move them where I didn't want them to go.  I recognized and appreciated how much easier it is to move them on Bob vs on foot. 

It took a long time for us to all get through moving cows on foot.  As those who had never worked cows before got on their horses, Lisa suggested that tonight we sit this ride out.  She pointed out that we and our horses have had more experience with cows so we should let those who have never been around cows have this night's ride.  Although I was a bit disappointed, I had to agree with her.  I knew I'd get more out of this evening on foot, assisting in moving cows into the arena for the rider and learning how to read their bubbles than I would on Bob's back.

And that's exactly what I did although I have to say as often as I did it, I still didn't do it as well as I would have liked.  Soon there were only two riders left to introduce their horses to cows.  It was dark and raining and Lisa and I found this a good time to make our exit and get our horses home and out of the trailer they'd been in (poor guys)!

I have to admit this night wasn't one of those +10's like I've had before.  I felt strange not riding Bob.  However, I did get more time in on foot than the others so I still consider it a good evening.

Ladies Night #7 is coming up.  It's our last Ladies Night of the season.  We'll be back at Fiddleback Ranch where we will actually be sorting cows.  We've been separated into two groups and will come and ride at separate times.  My group consists of my Cowgirl Pals who have sorted cows before.  We'll be the first group to work the cows.  After a break the second Ladies Night group will haul in to sort.  This group consists of those who haven't sorted cows in the past. 

Knowing we are breaking into two groups for our final Ladies Night means that our nights of riding together are now over.  That makes me sad.  I will miss the special bond with these women and the fun we've had.

Ladies Night #5: Brave Heart

Ladies Night #5 was held at Fiddleback Ranch instead of the barn where we've been meeting in the past.  Our new location, nestled up in the woods of the Cascade Foothills, required hauling the Ladies Night horses over to the ranch.  Those who have their own "rigs" filled their trailers with those who don't so we could get everybody there.

Arriving at Fiddleback I found myself parked alone on the upper circular driveway of the ranch due to the length of my rig while everybody else parked on the lower road.  Parking up there made it easy when I leave because I only need to drive forward to get out onto the road vs trying to back up.  Trust me, backing up this 4-door pickup and 3-horse slant isn't much fun.

This Ladies Night would be focused on trail course obstacles.  The owners of Fiddleback are active in the American Competitive Trail Horse Association (ACTHA).  They had generously set up a trail course which they use for practice.  On this night we'd be exposing our horses to all sorts of different obstacles.  Tonight would challenge the trust between horse and rider, at times to its extreme limit.

As usual unloading Bob and getting him ready went fine until....There was the most horrible sound that came out of the woods behind us.  It was like a terrible scream and was immediately followed by what I recognized as Coyotes howling in the brush, surely not more than just feet from us.

We have Coyotes here at home and they've never harmed the horses; however, their proximity had me concerned.  And that prior sound...it was just awful.  It raised the hairs on the back my neck and gave me goosebumps.

I looked wide-eyed at Bob and he looked wide-eyed back at me.  I still chuckle at how we immediately looked at each other.  Bob was checking in with me to see if it was ok and I was looking at him in fright.  So much for being the leader of this team, I was just as scared as Bob!  My fright confirmed to Bob that something was wrong.  He became agitated at the trailer.

I hurried to get us ready and down to the lower driveway where everybody else was gathering.  Tonight I was about to expose Bob to all sorts of unknown obstacles.  I had planned to have our evening start out in an assured atmosphere.  So much for that.

On our way down to join our Ladies Night buddies, Bob spooked at various things he encountered along the way.  The coiled hose was a snake; the big rock was a monster, etc.  I calmly hand walked him around the snakes and monsters until he accepted them and settled down.

Brave Heart

The Ladies broke into two teams.  We would hand walk our horses through the unique trail obstacles to begin with.  My team returned to the upper road.  Bob didn't think that was such a great idea but back we went.

Being in the comfort of others, I felt assured.  I tried my best to exhibit how I felt to Bob.  In the outdoor arena we walked across a wooden bridge and over logs.  Bob had settled down and did fine on those obstacles.

Brave Heart

The last obstacle was a curtain of swimming pool styrofoam noodles which we must walk through.  Bob didn't like the noodles bumping against him as he passed through.  He initially balked and then snorted and rushed through the noodles.

Not so Brave Heart

Each time we passed through I praised him and then turned him around and took him through the curtain again.  We did this multiple times and eventually Bob figured out that it wasn't going to hurt him.

Brave Heart

I grabbed a single noodle and rubbed it all over him.  Bob's eyes got big and his skin twitched but he stood still.  Eventually his eyes quieted and his body relaxed.  I heard the sound I love about Bob, that a big slobbering sigh.

Brave Heart

Changing places with the other team, we now went into the covered arena and exposed our horses to additional challenges.  We came upon a child's pup tent with dried branches in it that rattled.  Bob was curious and lowered his head to smell it and then picked up the tent in his mouth and shook it.  Silly horse!

A large blue tarp on the ground with poles on top was a concern for many of the horses.  Bob calmly walked back and forth over it, carefully stepping over the poles.  He acted as if the tarp wasn't even there.

A passage way that consisted of two walls of tarps was met as if Bob was walking into a stall.  No concern.

The big bouncy ball was rolled in front of Bob.  He was curious about the ball and assumed his cow stance behind it, trying to herd it.  I was concerned he might nip at it but thankfully he didn't.

A huge multi-colored umbrella awaited us.  After letting Bob smell it I opened and closed it and then held it over our heads as if it was raining.  Bob cocked his back leg and let out another slobbering sigh.

Brave Heart

We mounted our horses and meandered around the arena, now approaching the obstacles on horseback.  Suddenly that awful screaming sound came out of the woods again followed by more Coyote howls.

Many of us looked up when we heard that awful sound.  That's when one (savvy) Ladies Night rider calmly remarked, "Mules".  Again the sound came down out of the woods, now followed by hee-haws and then howling.

I calmly remarked, "Coyotes".

There were mules pastured back behind the woods.  As for the Coyotes, they were indeed in the brush, howling back at the mules.  What was so scary earlier to me was now comical and made me grin.  I had to wonder if that's how Bob felt about those noodles.  I wondered if horses can laugh at themselves.  I'm thinking so.

Dusk was quickly falling as we loaded up our horses and headed home.  As I drove home the sky was black with just a tiny speck of bright red on the horizon of the Olympic Mountain range.  A big old full moon was coming up over Mount Rainier and the Cascade Mountains.  It saddened me to know that fall was just around the corner and we only had two more Ladies Nights left. 

I've learned so much!  This night had taught me how important it is to be the leader of you and your horse.  And even if I was afraid I was pleased to see how Bob had turned to me for leadership.  Lastly I was pleased to find he's the kind of horse who checks something out and once confirmed its ok, accepts it and moves on.  That's the kind of horse I had hoped he'd be and I couldn't be more pleased to call him mine.

Brave Heart

Ladies Night #4: Riding to Music

I've been errant on postings.  Life sometimes happens and it pulled me some other directions.  Glad to be back.

Two weeks ago Ladies Night #4 was focused on riding to music.  Each of us had been asked to provide a song for the evening.  It was a lot of fun to hear what each of us had chosen. 

For Bob and I, I'd chosen the song, "You and Tequila" by Kenny Chesney.  It's kinda of a slow song, where one doesn't move much quicker than a trot...just right for Bob and I who haven't gotten our wings yet at the lope.

This warm Ladies Night reminded me of a when I was a teenager.  We used to have sleepovers where we played our favorite songs all night long. 

As with past Ladies Nights, there were a lot of smiles and giggles over songs we'd chosen and those Rachel, our leader, had chosen for us.  No pomp and circumstance with this bunch of ladies.  A true sign of Ladies Night bond are how many of us who sang proudly (and loudly off key) to our favorite songs as we rode.

This Ladies Night found Bob and I a little worn out after almost ten days of hauling some place every other day.  After a few hours of riding this warm night, I found I'd rather stand than sit and I'm sure Bob felt the same.

The Ladies of Night #4:

Since Ladies Night #4 two weeks have passed.  Ladies Night #5 was moved to a drop in trail class.  Bob and I didn't attend, taking some time off from the busy schedule we've had.  However, that hasn't stopped us from having some good rides at home.

Tonight is Ladies Night #6.  We'll be gathering at Fiddleback Ranch to experience their trail class.  Only two more Ladies Nights left after tonight.  I can see such a change in the seasons as darkness comes earlier at each week's gathering.  A sure sign that Fall is on its way.

Sorting #2 - Taking Chances

It's a joy to have a horse that, although isn't pleased with being taken off the pasture from his best buddy, loads up in the trailer and upon arrival at the destination, unloads quietly. 

It's so nice to have a horse that although curious about his surroundings, stands quietly at the trailer while he's saddled up.

It's refreshing to have a horse that requires minimal introduction or ground work at a new destination and waits quietly while you climb on.

The above is what I believe hauling Bob to various functions every week has brought me.  The repetition has bought me very little drama when we go places.

Instead of "horsepooling" with my Cowgirl Pals yesterday, I decided to haul Bob to the local sorting event by myself.  I was curious to see how Bob and I would do all alone, without other horses in our trailer and friends with us.  Would our recent bond be strong enough to take us through being on our own?  This would be a good test of its strength.

I arrived at the ranch and parked back behind from my Pals, who had "horsepooled" together.  There they were, helping each other, handing tack out, etc.  Their horses were tied next to each other at the trailers.

There were Bob and I, alone by ourselves, doing the same.  Lots of activity around us, trucks and trailers arriving, horses being unloaded, people warming their horses up.  Bob was curious and a little jumpy but heck I was the same.

To seal the deal of this day, I ran through some ground work before getting on.  It settled Bob right down.  I took my chance.  No hand walking him around the grounds to "introduce" him to all the sights and sounds.  It was time to Cowgirl Up. 

My plan?  Unless I felt my life was at risk, I would "ride Bob through it" if needed.  On this beautiful day my confidence was high as the puffy white clouds in the sky.  I was up to the task.

With my trusty red mounting block beside Bob and my friend Haley available to put the block back in my trailer, I hopped on.  I found the horse that in the last six weeks I've come to know - my friend Bob.  We walked around and then stood quietly under a huge shaded tree in a nice breeze while we waited for the sorting to begin.  Did I mention how nice it is to have a horse that stands quietly?

I'd hung my camera on my saddle and grabbed a few pictures while we waited for our next run.

As I experienced before, as soon as Bob saw the cows he became very focused on them.

My Cowgirl Pal, Barb, waiting for her next run.  It was nice to be able to drop my stirrups and chat with pals while waiting for our next run.

My taking chances on Bob's and my bond paid off in spades.  This event, located on my own turf was a lot of fun with lots of laughter and great humor.  Many of the participants are neighbors of ours and good neighbor feelings abounded. 

As Bob and I headed home I had a huge grin on my face.  I took the chance to find that our bond is as strong as I hoped it would be.  As I drove down the road, alone in my truck with Bob behind me, I'm sure one standing on the side of the road could hear me as I Yee-Hawed my heart out.